The Nine Senses:
We use the Nine Senses in all our work, they are the traditional 5 senses as well as emotions, thoughts, the subconscious and the super-conscious.
Awareness vs Focus:
“Where attention goes energy flows.”
The difference between awareness and focus needs to be clarified first. We start with Pure Awareness which is neutral. We can now choose to turn our attention outwards to a specific external object, sending our energy outwards to connect to, or focus on, that object through our senses. We can also turn our intention inwards and choose to open up our awareness so that we allow energy and information to flow into us. We can use the sense of sight as an example to illustrate the difference between “looking” at something specific (focus) or “seeing” the overall picture (awareness) or “experiencing” the totality of the sight (neutral).
Let’s say that we see a chair in a room, this is neutral. We can consciously direct our attention towards it, look at it, focus on it, and really start examining it closely, observing every detail, the shape, the colour, the material it is made of, then the finer details, the grain of the wood, the patterns, the stitching. We can then go even deeper to notice any feelings that might arise, maybe it was grandma’s chair…what emotions come up? What thoughts arise? Can you smell her cookies and hear her laughter? Is there anything from the subconscious that come up? Guilt for not spending enough time with her etc. Or anything from the super-conscious coming to you? The feeling of her smiling down at you, for instance?
What we have just done was to flip from focus to awareness. Where focus is outwards and point-like, awareness is expansive and open. Awareness is an inward flow of energy, you open up, you let in, you just let it happen. Actually, the less you try to control it, the more information will flow in.
When we focus, we tend to name things: chair, leg, seat, wood, brown, etc. When we switch to awareness, we do not try to name things, we just feel or sense them. When we start trying to name and classify things, they soon lose their essence. Using the example above, what was that feeling you got from Granny? Love, warmth, friendliness, acceptance? It doesn’t really matter what it was exactly, just that it felt good! You may also get negative feelings about the chair and that’s okay too.
Another way of doing it is to go back to our neutral position, of just looking and seeing the chair. Now stop looking and just see. Let the whole room flow into your vision, don’t name things like chair, table, door, wall, just sit and let things, feelings, intuitions, flow in.
Because of the nature of our minds, our eye and attention will be drawn from object to object. Watch what happens. You will first separate one object from the others, then you’ll name it and then you’ll judge it. Ooo look… flowers…they are roses… red…pretty…. maybe they need water, they look like they are dying. Now reverse this process again, let go of the judging, naming and separation. Feel, sense, intuit the essence of the object and then remove even the sense that it is an object that is separate from you….become one with it, let it communicate to you at the deepest level.
So we have three phases: neutral, outward focus and inward awareness, and we can switch between them at will.
Sensuality vs Sexuality:
The vital force that flows through us, and sustains us, and drives us, consist in part of creative energy. We can focus this creative energy outwards in the form of sexuality, or turn it inwards in the form of sensuality. Sensual awareness is the opening up of all nine senses to let this energy flow into us freely.
With sexuality, there are two, you and the object of your desire. Your attention and hence your energy goes out to the other, but you expect that energy to be returned to you in equal or greater amounts. First, you notice the other, and then you notice the feelings this brings up in you (attraction, lust, desire, magnetism, chemistry), and then you name it (love, connection, passion), and then you judge it (good, bad, fling, forever after, relationship), and then you put conditions to it (reciprocity, exclusivity, marriage, moonshine and roses, friends with benefits). All this will eventually lead to disappointment due to the unrealistic expectations we put on each other. And that will lead to feelings of rejection, shame, guilt, anger, abuse and victimhood. This not only leads to the loss of love for the other, but also to the loss of love for the self.
Don’t get me wrong, sexuality is great but we need to avoid some, or all, of the above-mentioned pitfalls!
There might be an easier route and that is through sensuality. Sensuality is an opening up and a deep appreciation of the other. An energetic connection that does not need to be named, or judged, and has no conditions attached to it. It’s a pure, natural, two-way flow between two people or even things and objects, like the feeling you get when you are experiencing a beautiful sunset.
See the beauty in the other.
Seeing the beauty in the other, is the closest we’ll get to defining what love is. “Real” love. Not the barter system love (I’ll give you some, if you give me some), the needy “you complete me” love (I can’t live without you), the sick and twisted love (if you love me, you’ll take the abuse), the manipulating love (if you are or act like that, I will give you some of my precious love).
If you see the beauty in the other, all of the above falls away and magically disappears.
Through sensuality, we discover what love is. Not just romantic love, but a love for life, for nature, for things, for the dramas we create, for the good and the bad. There’s beauty in ALL things, even if you sometimes have to look really, really hard for it, but it is always there.
“See the beauty in all things.”
Letting go / Let it Be:
Using how our physical senses work, and applying that to emotions, thoughts and feelings, we can take a step back from being so identified with them, look at them, and let the negative ones go (if you choose too). If we look at the chair, we do not become a chair and we can choose to let it be and look at something else. Similarly, when we experience anger we do not actually “become” angry, we have just become aware of this emotion called anger coming up in us. We can now take a step back, look at it, acknowledge it and let it go or let it be.
The process is as follows:
Awareness – become open and aware of the body, notice any strange sensations in the body, do not name, or judge, any of the feelings that might appear. Just let them arise and come to the surface, don’t hold back or suppress them. You are the ocean, they are just waves on the surface.
Focus – now allow yourself to focus in on one, acknowledge it. Don’t try to name or analyse it. Just acknowledge that it is there and that there is a good reason for you having this feeling or thought coming to the fore at this moment. Do not identify with it, just observe it.
Neutrality – while observing the feeling, emotion or thought take a step back into the neutral position. Just observe and let it run it’s course, in other words just let it be and do what it wants to.
When it is done, thank or bless it and let it go!
Rinse and repeat, do this for as many times as it is necessary….
Sensate Session – Sensual Awareness and Gentle Massage:
Putting theory into practice.
The sensual awareness massage consists of alternating between soft and gentle caresses, and harder pressure applied to certain pressure points on the energy meridians of the body. This is enhanced by energy work being done at the same time to help activate the creative energy in the body. The verbal guidance given will help you to direct this energy through the body by using your own attention and intention.
You will be an active participant, this is not a passive massage, you will be guided to change from focus to awareness, do some breathing exercises, and move your body, and to do some “letting go” of negative energy. You are encouraged to direct the overall experience to best meet your needs. A yoni massage is optional.
A lot of negative energy gets trapped in the yoni region. Abuse, guilt, shame, rejection, trauma, lack of self-worth, anger and other emotions, all get trapped and stored in the body and a lot of it in the yoni. If they are not allowed to be expressed and released, these energy blocks can be quite harmful. With a combination of massage, “letting go” and energy work these negative energies can be released. This might not always be a pleasant experience, but you will feel much better afterwards.
If there are no blocks, or they have been cleared, it is a purely pleasurable experience and it’s a great opportunity to practice the focus and awareness flips between the various sensations.
With a Sensate Session you can really get in touch with your own Sense and Sensuality.